[Bob:]
I know you're already a wealthy-ish guy
But think of what that condo money could buy
And I'd open up Bob's Beach Burgers and Fries
Oh, nice things are nice

[Mr. Fischoeder]
Uh-uh
Not interested

[Bob and Mr Fischoeder]
Your own private island
A million eye patches
(No, I don't think so)
A gold swimming pool
To hold all of your cashes
(No, sorry, Bob)
I'd hire real waiters who all have mustaches
(No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no)
Oh, nice things are nice

[Fanny]
Soon you will see
Just how nice life can be
When you start raking in condo people's money
[Linda]
Ooh, I love this dress
Does it come In size three?

[Fanny]
Uh-uh

[Linda]
Okay, six?

[Fanny]
Uh-uh

[Linda]
Okay, ten?

[Fanny]
Oh, nice things are nice

[Tina]
I'm chained to Mr. Goiter
(Gene and Louise:
La, la, la, la, la, la, la, la)
In hopes that they don't destroy her
(La, la, la, la, la, la, la, la)
Okay, it's not a her
But I really really wanted it to rhyme
(La, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, laaaaa)
[Bob]
A legion of servants all at your command
An army of tigers
Like you always planned

[Mr. Fischoeder]
I could buy my own missiles to launch at Englaa...
Ah, ah, never mind
I'm not telling

[Bob]
My sophisticated burgers
They would understand

[Bob and Mr. Fischoeder]
Oh, nice things are nice