[Intro: Tina, Gene, Courtney & Linda]
Gene, go on with your incredibly accurate accounting of what happened earlier tonight
I will
There I was, searching the universe for the Staff of Creation

Ugh! Why did I have to make the universe so huge? I can't find anything. I want that staff. I wanna have someone like a mom
You mean like me?

Wait, how'd you create her without the Staff of Creation?
I didn't. She's a vision
Ooh, vision

But if I was real, here's what I might be like

[Verse 1: Courtney & Gene]
I'd live on a diet of winе and cheese
You teach me to say thank you. And also, plеase
Manners are important, heh

[Verse 2: Courtney & Gene]
If you don't have a date I'll go with you to the prom
Oh, I sure would like to have someone like a mom
I'd do your homework when you don't wanna
You'd let me get a big iguana
As long as you take care of it
[Verse 3: Courtney, Gene & Gene & Courtney]
I'll make you watch all my favorite rom-coms
Oh, I sure would like to have someone like a mom
To be somebody's mom

[Interlude: Courtney & Gene]
Mombo, you're fading
Because I'm not real
I'm just a vision (Vision, vision)
I need that Staff of Creation!
You don't need the staff. You just need to believe. If you believe, put your hand under your armpit and squeeze
It makes a funny sound
That's the sound of believing
Everyone, believe with me

*Fart noise*

There was thunder and lightning and crashing cymbals. And steel drums, I wanna say. And Mombo became real
And everyone was dancing on the ceiling and this way before Lionel Richie
I'm real. This is amazing. I'm so much better than a dad
What's a dad?
Oh, let me tell you about dads. They're hairy, they've got no rhythm, they can't tape a school play to save their lives, they smell weird, their knees are backwards...

[Outro: Bob & Linda]
Okay, Gene, we get it
*Hums* Oh, that's catchy