[Intro: Bob & Louise]
I can't believe we're doing this. Such a bad idea. Such a bad idea. Such a bad idea
That's great, Dad, great for morale. Keep it up

[Verse 1: Teddy]
Someone's stealing all the Christmas cheer
Do you hear what I hear?
Inflatable vinyl decorations make this time of year
Do you hear what I hear?
A Santy Claus standing on the lawn with a hidden Christmas surprise
It's a grown man dressed in disguise

[Interlude: Bob, Louise & Linda]
*Tina groans*
You still wanna do this, Lin? Because we can turn back
Some jerk has my tree, Bob
Yeah, Dad, and that jerk happens to be a ferocious, mystical beast who's trying to ruin the holiday, just F.Y.I
Everyone's being really rational. This is great. Really, really, really great

[Verse 2: Teddy]
A jerk or two out there in the night
If he comes, he's gonna get a fight
If he comes, I just hope he doesn't bite

[Outro: Bob, Louise & Linda]
That's not good
All right, nobody panic. We-we-we'll just wait till the lights come back on. Or until we're killed
*Everyone screams*
*Tina pants frantically*
What the heck was that thing?
It was a... It was... It was a...
What do you think it was? It was the frickin' Bleaken!