Unstable stands a-flush with fans
Pilfered pies and pints in wobbly hands
In the bowels of the bar two boys spar
Don't flinch an inch and territories marked

Oh I'd swear by my own cock and balls
And the family home's four walls

There'll be no treason this season
The players they bask
The boss he basks
Just win the big match it's all I can ask

Darrell, my son the bastards won
We've been lumbered with losing life for far too long
The ground groans like the belly of a sleeping whale
Don't flinch an inch he'll be released on bail

Oh I'd swear by my own cock and balls
And the family home's four walls

There'll be reason for treason this season
The players are slack
The boss has been sacked
Just win the big match it's all I can ask