Joe Iconis
The Play
[SQUIP, spoken]
It's okay, Jeremy
I anticipated her resistance

[JEREMY, spoken]
No! I have to destroy that beaker
Where's the beaker?

[SQUIP, spoken]
I anticipated your resistance too, Jeremy
So I took the decision out of your hands

[BROOKE, spoken]
What angel wakes me from my flowery bed

[MR. REYES, spoken]
Some potion, m' lady!

[BROOKE, spoken]
Thanks—
Ow!

[BROOKE, spoken]
I warned thee gentle mortal
It's time to feed again!
(laughing)
[JEREMY, spoken]
You're going to SQUIP the whole cast!

[SQUIP, spoken]
And that's just for starters
Soon, I won't just be in your brain
I'll be in everyone's!

[JEREMY, spoken]
Not if I can stop you!
Mr. Reyes? You can't let anyone else drink from that beaker

[MR. REYES, spoken]
Don't be silly! It's more than safe
I should know, I tried it myself

[SQUIP, spoken]
Up up down down left right A

[JEREMY & MR. REYES]
Ow!

[JEREMY, spoken]
Mr. Reyes?

[MR. REYES, spoken]
You needy, pathetic
Self-centered students!
You think I wanted to teach high school drama?
In New Jersey?
[JEREMY, spoken]
What did you do to him?

[SQUIP]
I synced his desires to your own
I now realize my operating system will only be complete
When everyone shares a social network

[JEREMY, spoken]
You're a computer! There has to be some way to turn you off

[SQUIP, spoken]
I'd stop there
Rich tried to fight back
And look what happened to him

[RICH, spoken]
I need Mountain Dew Red

[JEREMY, spoken]
That's it!
Green mountain dew activates you, red shuts you off!

[SQUIP, spoken]
Why do you think we had it discontinued?
To get rid of me now you'd need a time machine to the 1990's
[JEREMY, spoken]
Or a friend who's so old school
He buys 90s soft drinks from the back room at Spencer's Gifts!

[SQUIP, spoken]
Jeremy!
I'm going to improve your life
If I have to take over the entire human race to do it!

[MICHAEL]
Michael makes an entrance!

[JEREMY, spoken]
Michael!
You came to see me in the play?

[MICHAEL, spoken]
Even brought my own refreshments

[JEREMY, spoken]
Is that—?

[MICHAEL, spoken]
Mountain Dew Red!
Told you I did my research

[JEREMY, spoken]
That's amazing! Give it to me!

[MICHAEL, spoken]
Okay! Wait, no

[SQUIP, spoken]
Kung Fu fists activate

[JEREMY, spoken]
This is so—
Y-y-y-y-you love to feel superior and don't care about being popular

[MICHAEL, spoken]
Of course I care!
I just know it's never gonna happen

[JEREMY, spoken]
What? You resent me because I wouldn't g-g-g-give up like you did?

[MICHAEL, spoken]
I don't resent you!
I'm jealous you tried!

[JEREMY, spoken]
Well, I'm j-j-jealous you don't!

[MICHAEL, spoken]
Why are you hitting me?

[JEREMY, spoken]
It's not me...it's
My... Squip...

[MICHAEL, spoken]
Jake!
Uhh, this is gonna sound super weird
But if I hold down Jeremy
Will you make him drink this Mountain Dew Red?

[JAKE, spoken]
That doesn't sound weird at all

[SQUIP, spoken]
Up up down down left right A

[JAKE & JEREMY]
Ow!

(screaming)

[SQUIP, spoken]
Oh, Jeremy
Look what you're making me make him do!

[JAKE]
I'm living the upgrade
Upgrade
God, I love me

[CHLOE & BROOKE]
(vocalizing)
There you are, Jeremy

[BROOKE, spoken]
We just want you to know we're not mad anymore

[CHLOE, spoken]
I just wanted to feel liked

[BROOKE, spoken]
And I just wanted to feel seen

[CHLOE, spoken]
But, I see you!

[BROOKE, spoken]
And I like you!

[BOTH]
Oh my god, why was I so jealous of you?
You were jealous of me?
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me
Sisters forever! Jinx!

[JEREMY, spoken]
Michael, the bottle!
There's a few drops left

[MICHAEL, spoken]
How are we supposed to get to it?

[JEREMY, spoken]
Apocalypse of the Damned!
Level nine

[JEREMY & MICHAEL]
The Cafetorium

Find the bad guy, push 'em aside
Then move on forward with a friend at your side
It's a two-player game so when they make an attack
You know you got a brother, gonna have your back

[MICHAEL, spoken]
Got it!

[JENNA ROLAN, spoken]
I just wanted to be part of a group!
Now, I finally am!
And I won't let you take that away

[SQUIP, spoken]
You don't wanna drink that, Jeremy!

[JEREMY, spoken]
Why not?

[SQUIP, spoken]
Because if you drink it
You'll never be with her

[CHRISTINE, spoken]
Jeremy?

[JEREMY, spoken]
Christine?

[CHRISTINE]
You are the person I want to be with every day
And this is something that I've been afraid to say
You're the guy I am so kinda into
The guy that I am totally into
This feeling is new

Jeremy
Jeremy
Jeremy, I love you

[SQUIP, spoken]
You've waited so long to hear Christine say those words
How can you possibly drink that last drop?

[JEREMY, spoken]
That's not Christine!
And I am stronger than you think I am

Drink this

[SQUIP, spoken]
No!
Jeremy, think about what you are sacrificing!

[JEREMY, spoken]
How do you feel?

[CHRISTINE, spoken]
I feel...
Ow!

[JEREMY, spoken]
Oh god

[JAKE, CHLOE & BROOKE]
Ow!

[JEREMY, spoken]
Oh god

[ALL]
Ow!

[MICHAEL, spoken]
Oh god!

[JEREMY, spoken]
What did I do?

[MICHAEL, spoken]
You just deactivated the SQUIPs!

(screaming)

[SQUIP]
Watashi wa nihon kara kimashita