[Verse 1]
Holding up her glass
Gazing through the chardonnay
She says, "Here's to lovers passed
This one, he was taken far too soon"

[Pre-Chorus]
Smiling in the casket
As if I could hear it
"Oh, he’s the only one
The only one for me"

[Chorus]
I would kill to be a ghost
I would kill to be a ghost
In the comfort of my own
Funeral

[Verse 2]
"Always so compassionate
Oh, a true humanitarian"
Cries the weeping president
While accompanied by violin

[Pre-Chorus]
Then as they lay me down to rest
Release the doves and fire off the cannon
[Chorus]
I would kill to be a ghost
I would kill to be a ghost
In the comfort of my own
Funeral
Oh, to see the final show
Watch the final curtains close
In the comfort of my own
My own
My own
("He's the only one
The only one for me")
Funeral

[Outro]
Ooh-ooh-ooh
Ooh-ooh-ooh-ah-ah-ya-ya