[MENDEL]
Jason
I am agitato grande
Jason, I am muy disgutante
And muy disappointe
And muy nauseatus
And mimitzarayim
Hotzianu
Dayenu

Everyone hates his parents
Don't be ashamed
You'll grow up
You'll come through
You'll have kids
And they'll hate you too
Oh, everyone hates his parents
But, I confess
You grow up
You get old
You hate less

[JASON]
But I don't want it
Nothing that gives them pleasure I'll do
I don't want a bar mitzvah
Stupid bar mitzvah
Any bar mitzvah
Would you?
[MENDEL]
Everyone hates his parents
That's in the Torah
It's what history shows
In fact, God said to Moses:
"Moses, everyone hates his parents
That's how it is!"
And God knew
Because God hated His

[MARVIN]
You are gonna kill your mother
Don't feel guilty, kill your mother
Rather than humiliate her
Killing your mother
Is the merciful thing to do

[TRINA]
Jason, darling, don't get nervous
I'm right here, and at your service
Look, I'm calm and self-deluded
Grateful, 'cause I hope
You'll do what I pray you'll do

[MARVIN]
Go ahead and kill your mother
[TRINA]
Not with guns, but kill your mother

[MARVIN]
Rather than humiliate her

[TRINA & MARVIN]
Killing your mother
Is the merciful thing to do

[MENDEL, spoken]
Oh my god.​

(sung)
Everyone hates his parents
Now, I see why!
But in time
They'll cool out
And you'll think
They were only fooling
It's a strange thing about parents
Push turns to shove
What was hate
Becomes more or less love

[MARVIN & TRINA]
Jason, please see a psychiatrist
[MENDEL, spoken]
I'm a psychiatrist. Get lost!

Everyone hates his parents
This too shall pass
You'll grow up

[JASON]
I'll come through
I'll have kids

[MENDEL]
And they'll hate you too

[MENDEL & JASON]
Oh, Everyone hates his parents

[MENDEL]
But kid I guess
You'll grow up

[JASON]
I'll grow up

[MENDEL]
You'll get old

[JASON]
I'll get old

[MENDEL & JASON]
And hate less

[JASON, spoken]
Flip me!

[MENDEL, spoken]
You got it!

[JASON, spoken]
Whoo!

[MENDEL & JASON]
And hate less