I wish that I wasn’t numb to all my feelings until reach for a new bottle
You spelled out my love but there’s isn’t a point cause there is no you inside tomorrow
I would be in debt forever if in this life I had some time I could borrow
I’d Rather drown inside the rain than swim thru the ocean of all of my sorrows

I jus hope that you know I really changed
My days do not feel the same
Tired of living with this pain
I don’t want to play no games

I just hope that I get to see you your face before I dip out and live forever in Cali
Since my life is jus manic episodes wait for my season finale
I believe that you want me to
Be happy jus never believe you want that with you
Wish I could open your heart just to see how you felt and read all your truths

I expose all of mine thru these lyrics the fans have been messaging they know me better than me
They tell me don’t be afraid of my future and what will be my reality
But I would be lying if I said I will be okay if I lose you for good

I hope that you notice
Hope that you need me
Before it all falls apart

I have been praying and dreaming that I wake up next to you
I wake up every day and get depressed
I walk around aimlessly I jus sit around my house n I hardly get dressed
I fight with these thoughts in my head til I hardly know whats really good for me hope Im not better off dead
I know that my friends love me dearly fans say I’m the best but its bringing more stress

I jus need time to find out who I am
I jus need you in my life that’s the plan
It gets to the point I feel bad for my dog
Cause I do not know how to take a day off

There is guilt in my heart for killing all my sadness
Not actions alone but the job had felt tragic
And maybe I jus live inside of my past
Been an issue for us I don’t know how to act

I lost myself tryin to please everyone else
Lost everyone when I tried to find myself
They ask me what I have accomplished I’m fine
I tell them the hardest was staying alive

Knowing I can’t have you back is the worst
Just say theres a chance you can lie if it works
Before I lose everything know how I’m feeling
Do the best that I can and I hope you can see it