[ZACK]
Bet this really takes you back

[KYRA]
I could never find yours, Zack

[NADIA]
Excuse me

[MATT]
What the hell is that?

[RORY]
It's a piñata, Matt

[LUCAS]
Put it there instead

[KYRA]
Wouldn't want to hit your head

[NADIA]
I wrote a song for us to sing

[ZACK]
They'll be here any minute

[RORY]
I need tape

[LUCAS]
Got cups?

[MATT]
A plate?

[NADIA]
When I go like this, we'll begin it

[RORY, NADIA & KYRA]
Happy birthday Ivy, you are the special birthday bitch

[NADIA]
We got you some Vagisil to help clear up that nasty itch

[PETER]
That's pretty, Nadia

[ZACK]
She'll love that

[ALAN]
Towels, stat

[LUCAS]
She's gonna die

[NADIA]
We should be so lucky

[PETER]
Be nice

[NADIA]
Why?

[RORY, spoken]
Mary Jane made some brownies. They're dope. 

[KYRA]
My favorite

[RORY]
Mine too

[LUCAS]
Oooh! Spacecakes

[PETER]
Cool! Who made these?

[RORY]
Does he know?

[LUCAS]
Please

[PETER]
Know what?

[ALAN]
I need a cup

[ZACK]
I may have to crash here tonight, there's no way I'm gonna make it home

[NADIA]
What the hell, the bed's still warm
'Cause Ivy never sleeps alone
Same old gift from different givers
Throw the dog another bone

[MATT]
Time to go

[LUCAS]
Sorry, bro

[MATT]
Are those her panties?

[KYRA]
Yes, indeed

[LUCAS]
Guess who's horny?

[JASON (to Matt)]
Him

[NADIA, DIANE, KYRA & RORY]
Agreed

[LUCAS]
Open shop, take all you need

[NADIA]
I would wear three

[MATT]
Maybe I'm not being clear...

[DIANE]
They're here

[LUCAS]
Quiet

[ZACK]
These are so good

[NADIA]
Sing out, Louise

[ALAN]
Guys, where are all the cups?

[PETER, JASON, NADIA, LUCAS, KYRA, RORY, DIANE, ALAN, ZACK, & TANYA]
Shut up

[NADIA]
1, 2, 3, 4

[PETER, JASON, NADIA, LUCAS, KYRA, RORY, DIANE, ALAN, ZACK, & TANYA]
Happy birthday Ivy, you're the ugliest of all
You are the worst and most perverse to roam Cecilia's hallowed halls
Your mother was a hooker and your father was a dick
He poked her in the toaster and the pair produced a pig
Whose brain is awfully tiny and whose ass is awfully big
Happy birthday bitch!
Happy birthday bitch!
Happy birthday Ivy, bitch, bitch, bitch, bitch, bitch

[NADIA]
Then they took that little bitch and they fucked her in the ass...
(spoken)
Sorry

[MATT, spoken]
Happy birthday!

[DIANE, spoken]
Matt planned the party

[MATT, spoken]
Some of it. 

[IVY, spoken]
Thank you, this is very sweet. 

[MATT, spoken]
She's loaded, what happened to her?

[TANYA, spoken]
You told me to keep her busy. 

[PETER]
You don't wanna play?

[JASON, spoken]
Nah...why are you so happy?

[PETER]
I wish your piñata were that big

[JASON, spoken]
You do know those are pot brownies?

[PETER, spoken]
Oops
(sung)
I want to go back to the rave
The two of us dancing together
Out there in the open
So then what's stopping us now?
I hear our song on the radio
And I don't care who knows

[JASON, spoken]
Lower your voice. 
(sung)
What is wrong with you?

[PETER]
I think we're missing so much
Jason, I wish I could shout it
Shout how much I love you!

[JASON, spoken]
Hey!

[IVY, spoken]
Hey, you any good with a stick?

[JASON, spoken]
What have you heard?

[IVY, spoken]
Come help me. 

[JASON, spoken]
Sure, give me one sec

[PETER, spoken]
Don't go. 

[JASON, spoken]
Peter, stop. 

[PETER, spoken]
God, but the rave--

[JASON, spoken]
Was different. We don't live at a rave. Look, you have to stop acting like this. 

[PETER, spoken]
Like what? Your boyfriend?