[VIOLET]
I'd like a pair of Gene Tierney eyes
Try Monty's mouth on for size –
A little fuller though
A mouth so soft there's no end of romance…

[MONTY]
What's a mouth got to do with romance?

[FLICK]
You got to ask, you'll never know

[MONTY]
I been with more'n you, my friend

[FLICK]
None of yours want seconds, though
Mine all come back for more

[MONTY, spoken]
Yeah, to me. 

[VIOLET]
Boys, boys, boys!

When I'm in line for my miracle
And the Preacher is all set to go
I know just what I'll ask for
But I'm not telling you, at least 'til you stop squabbling and pretend you're actually listening

[MONTY]
Pretty please, Violet, with sugar on top?

[VIOLET]
If I had gypsy hair
And a face to match it
No traces anywhere
Of a wayward hatchet
I could be Cyd Charisse
Shooting on location
In some far-off and tiny nation

Oh, with lips like those
I'd look almost shameless
Oh, but add the nose
Now I'm pure and blameless
If Cyd Charisse isn't, that's how it goes
I love 'er all, I love 'er all
I love 'er ah – ah – all to pieces!
I love 'er all, I love 'er all
I love 'er ah – ah – all to pieces!

If I looked in the know
With a hint of myst'ry
Like a Brigitte Bardot
With a darker hist'ry
If I threw you a glance
And I let it linger
I could wrap you around my finger –
Oh, one of Bardot's
Why should she be stingy?
Oh, throw in her toes
Mine are just too dingy
I'll give the Preacher my mountain for those
I love 'er all, I love 'er all
I love 'er ah – ah – all to pieces!
I love 'er all, I love 'er all
I love 'er ah – ah – all to pieces!

I could be a leading lady –
Present tense, and background shady –
Take an hour or two to go
From down-at-heel to tippy-toe
From no big deal
To the star of a picture show

[MONTY, spoken]
Oh! Oh, you should ask that preacher for some Ursula Andress legs. 

[VIOLET, spoken]
I think my legs are fine. 

[MONTY, spoken]
No, but, rising out'a the ocean in that white Dr. No bikini?
[VIOLET, spoken]
What's the matter with my legs?

[MONTY, spoken]
Nothing! They're…long. 

[VIOLET, spoken]
Then why did you bring 'em up at all?

[FLICK, spoken]
What you need is some Ursula Andress there. 

[VIOLET, spoken]
I can't believe you just said that. 

[FLICK]
Not that it matters to me
But you said a leading lady
Is what you wanna be
How else you gonna go
Light up a picture show?

[VIOLET]
Give me just a minute though
To pillage my portfolio
Borrow Elke Sommer's hair
With Judy Garland's pretty chin
Put Grace Kelly's little nose
With Rita Hayworth's skin
But Ava Gardner for the eyebrows
Bergman cheekbones
Under gypsy eyes

I could shine like a moonbeam
On the silk of a ball gown
I could be someone lovely
Turning heads on her first night in town
In town
All I need is someone
To wonder, who is she
To ask how to meet me

[MONTY, spoken]
St. Louis? Nah. 

[VIOLET]
To love me all to pieces. 

[MONTY, spoken]
They're eight games out with 30 to go. 

[FLICK, spoken]
Yeah, but look at that Lou Brock. His legs belong in a museum somewhere. And Bob Gibson? The man has an arm of steel. 

[MONTY, spoken]
30 to go, like I said.