[Intro: R. Stevie Moore]
I was housebreaking some classical Boxcar Willie, and it occurred to me: my wrench had become soggy. Oversaturation of water from the Caribbean. I contacted my barber, and he told me, "It's just the system." And that's when I turned pink

[Verse 1: Ariel Pink & R. Stevie Moore]
Now, whaddya call this music, Steve?
Ariel Green
Yeah?
That's right
Well, I call it Steve Pink
Jump in whenever you want
Fill in the blank space, if you would
I'll do what I can
Michael Zanna, Michael Zanna
Michael Zanna, Michael Zanna
Michael Zanna, Michael Zanna
Michael Zanna, Michael Zanna
Michael Zanna

[Verse 2: Ariel Pink & R. Stevie Moore]
R. Stevie, it's nice to meetcha
My pleasure
It's such a thrill
You do great shit
Aw thanks, man, you too
And I like the way that you do that—
Dig the time you slip the lip there [?]
Uh huh
Right
Uh huh
Right. Exactly
Borax. It's like Borax, exactly!
[Verse 3: Ariel Pink & R. Stevie Moore]
My name is Pink, and no one knows me
I'm really big in South Dakota
I knew your grandmother back—
You tell all your friends about me
And I'll tell all my friends about you
But, your friends left me
What?
For you!
Man, that's low
It's true!

[Verse 4: Ariel Pink & R. Stevie Moore]
Now does this guarantee that I get your tapes for free now?
I was thinking about running for Senate
Now I know that's not your thing, you can blow yourself a chance now
I was thinking about you as my running mate, Pink
Hey, I was supposed to say that
You're a little slow
Oh
See?
Oh, right
Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha
Fuck this

[Verse 5: Ariel Pink & R. Stevie Moore]
R. Stevie, you're very cool
No question
Your music rules
Thank you. You too
Aw, you're just fibbing
No, I'm serious!
For real?
Yeah!
Hell yes
No question! You're better than I am!
—Too much fantasy in there [?]
No, this is reality we're speaking about
[Verse 6: Ariel Pink & R. Stevie Moore]
I must admit R. Pink's a pimp
Orchestra, come in
Lead guitar!
Come on in, yes!
I think this shit's giving me bad vibes, man
Too high tech?

[Verse 7: Ariel Pink & R. Stevie Moore]
The stars about to shake, the storm's about to break now
Here's the climax, Steve, don't let me down, don't release a frown
The stars about to shake, the form's about to break now
(Pink is wack, Pink is wack, Pink is wack, Pink is wack, everybody now)
No, not until next verse

[Verse 8: Ariel Pink & R. Stevie Moore]
The stars about to shake, the phone's about to break now
Stevie
Pink is wack, Pink is wack, Pink is wack, Pink is wack, everybody now
Stevie
Stevie
Ariel
Pink
Getcha!
Stevie-Pink, Stevie-Pink, Stevie-Pink, Stevie-Pink
Stevie-Pink, Stevie-Pink, Stevie-Pink, Stevie-Pink
Stevie-Pink, Stevie-Pink, Stevie
(Pink is wack, Pink is wack, Pink is wack, everybody now)
Ahh!
Pink is wack, Pink is wack, Pink is wack, Pink is wack, everybody now
Pink is wack, Pink is wack, Pink is wack, Pink is wack, everybody now
Pink is wack, Pink is wack, Pink is wack, Pink is wack, everybody now
Everybody party like it's 1999!
No!
[Verse 9: Ariel Pink & R. Stevie Moore]
You mean Prince
No, too much R. Stevie. It's all your fault
Have your lawyer call my lawyer, yeah
Yeah, [?]
No way
Just a mirror, right?
No
I thought that was a mirror
No, you're outta your mind
Everybody now
Everybody now
Pink is wack, Pink is wack, Pink is wack, Pink is wack, everybody now

[Verse 10: Ariel Pink & R. Stevie Moore]
Is Krystyna in the house? Can I get myself a shout now?
Hi Krystyna!
I'll read [?] in the morning, we can really send her home
Hey, we're really upset
You're so dead, pal
Hey, fuck you, man!
Lighten up, man!
Eat me!
What?
You heard it!
Screw ya
Okay
You don't deserve my services anyway
Okay, turn off the tape