You may very well be concerned
That your big investment pays off
I can understand just why
You may feel put off
Let me tell you one thing
There's no strings, no obligation
Elation damnation
You own R. Stevie Moore
I come with a money-back guarantee
Dont'cha fret, you can bet you'll be satisfied
I come with a full coverage warranty
Elation, tell Jason I'm here

I'm well equipped with options
They're included in the estimated sticker price
They built me to last for a
Very long time, that's nice
Now let me tell you one thing
There's no need to be suspicious
Temptation, tell Jason
A salesman will not call

So if you're in the marketplace
To acquire a brand new lover boy
You can rest assured that
My value can't be destroyed
So please accept this offer now
And win a free vacation
Elation damnation
Have I got a deal for you
Frustration vibration is here
I'm here