R. Stevie Moore
Man Without a Gland
Here I sit inside a trap
Of ugly girls who kiss
I could use a plain escape
To rid myself of this
Please forget what's happening and
Wind your watch and burn your calendar

It would not appear so bad
If I were sound asleep
Maybe what I need is an
Affair with horny sheep
All these girls they smell so bad
I'd like to cut my nose off just today

Wish I was a man without a gland
Just an organ player in a band
Me and misery they must go hand in hand

If I choose to scissor off
My precious bag of wealth
Will i be alright or will I
Die for mental health
I don't want to urinate
Without a way to guide it to the bowl

I just used a razor blade
To sever off a thumb
Throw it to that awful girl
Who thought she wanted somе
Everything is red and dim
Wherе is the thread and needle when I need it?