CINDERPELT

Sit yourself down and prepared to be schooled
Don’t think for a second you can play me as the fool
I can say with certainty your jealousy is showing
Cuz Spotty when you’re dead and gone, the world keeps on going

SPOTTEDLEAF

You’ve been blessed with my presence since the very beginning
I’ve graced every dream you’ve had the privilege of seeing
There’s no competition when it comes to you and me
But what can I say, I’m just the queen of prophecies

CINDERPELT

The only throne you sit on is your self-righteous ass
You think you’re so pretty but ehhh… I’ll give you a pass

SPOTTEDLEAF

Something about that just seems so defensive
I’d talk about your looks but that might get offensive

CINDERPELT
I can’t help but notice how you’re pretty much a stalker
But no one gives a shit because you’re such a sweet-talker
You’re basically dead and still want a piece of Firestar?
Okay, that’s actually quite bizarre..

SPOTTEDLEAF

I’ll pretend I haven’t heard that for the millionth time
You lack so much creativity it should really be a crime
I do wonder why he never noticed your obsession
Oh, his choice in a mate should answer that question

SANDSTORM
Just what I expected, the party of squabbling PUSSIES
Going on ‘bout who’s better
When we all know you’re just hussies
Starclan sake, Spotted!
You’re like a flea that just won’t quit
I’d like to finish this myself
But Maple beat me to it
And here we have poor Cinder, the tragically disfigured
Your subtle hints aren’t working
And your message didn’t deliver
There’s no use in arguing, so put away your pride
‘Cause look it here ladies, I’m the queen who’s by his side
CINDERPELT

Uh Sandstorm? What are you doing here?

SPOTTEDLEAF

Yeah… The title says Cinderpelt vs Spottedleaf?

SANDSTORM

Sorry for butting in girls, but uh, I couldn’t keep watching this train wreck go down

SPOTTEDLEAF:
*offended gasp*

CINDERPELT

That's it, Sand, you think that you can play rough?
You got less book-time than a stick, you neglected, pushy wash-up

SANDSTORM

No seriously now, who even let you compete?
You'll forever be a broken ‘paw’, who can't stand on her feet

SPOTTEDLEAF
Sandstorm? Try Saltstorm, I think it really suits you
Your bitterness makes sense
I’m a lot to live up to

CINDER

The writers couldn’t stand you, so buh-bye by book two
Cut off before your encore, didn’t finish your debut
I got ten bitch, go on and live up to that
You’re a sorry source of man-pain, a disgrace to us she-cats

SAND

You’re joking, right? You two must be kidding
I’m the only one who’s been here since the very beginning!

SPOTTED

Okay, I’ll admit, you’ll go down in history…
As a petty little rat, now that’s your legacy
Had to hate him just to hate him for no reason at all
Then I guess you turned around when he didn’t let you fall

CINDER

Oh boo hoo, jealous he couldn’t save your life?
Nobody asked you to be all bark and no bite
And what’s even more pathetic--homegirl died twice!
That’s what you get when you try to play it nice

SAND

Oh StarClan, both of you are killing me here
Please do us all a favor and just disappear
But that’s already happened so it’s none of my concern
Do you wittle babies need some herbs for that burn?

*incoherent squabbling*

FIRE

Whoa! Ladies, ladies! There is enough of me to go around…
My name is Firestar, leader of the four Clans
If you need a job done, you know I’m your man

SAND

Whoa whoa whoa whoa! Hold up, hold up!
Are you being serious right now… Ugh. Okay you know what?!
I’m mortified we tried to fight over a guy...

SPOTTED

It might do us some good if we put the hate aside…

CINDER

Yeah, screw the toms, let’s have some girl pride!
All together now…

SAND, SPOTTED, CINDER

She-cats Unite!