[Intro]
This week, you and me,
we will witness history
as the RNC crowns their orange manatee

[Verse 1]
We'll see wacky hats, crazy ties
worn by thousands of white guys,
An entire airplane hangar
filled with Donald Trump's ex-wives.
We'll see Newt, Ron, and Rand
maybe members of the Klan
But no Muslims or Latinos
cause I think they've all been banned!

[Chorus]
It will be crazy, you can't deny
It's like Christmas in July

...in Cleveland!

[Verse 2]
To the Quicken Loans Arena
It's the finest place you've seen-a
It can nearly fit each person
fired by Carly Fiorina
It's The Q, but let's be clear
Q doesn't stand for "queer"
though it really doesn't matter,
there aren't many of them here
[Chorus]

"Build a wall around me, dancing delegates!"

[Bridge]
And there's so much more in store
Cos it's not one night, it's four!
So...

[Verse 3]
Reince Priebus will campaign
huffing paint to ease the pain
and Paul Ryan will be crying
while Ben Carson juggles brains
Ted Cruz is drinkin' whiskey
no one's sittin' with Chris Christie
and Mitt Romney bungees in to say,
"Does anybody miss me?"

[Chorus 2]
Jeb is in the bathroom yelling, "Why?"
it's like Christmas in July

[Outro]
The party of Lincoln had better start drinkin'
it's like Christmas in July