[Verse 1: Stephen Colbert]
One, two, three, four
The moon was full, it was late at night
I could feel in my bones something wasn't quite right
I walked downstairs and I opened the door
And what I saw sent my jaw to the floor
At first I was scared, then I started to giggle
Cause I saw Dracula do the Halloween Wiggle

[Verse 2: Killer Mike (El-P)]
This ain't ya Daddy's monster mash
Run the Jewels, Run the Jewels
(Ay, it's a graveyard smash)
Drop the pumpkin down low and make my fun size sticky
I'm 'bout to find out if you a treaty or a tricky
Spread your cobwebs and arch your back
And I'ma stick my hand down ya candy sack

[Verse 3: El-P]
Shake ya money maker like a UNICEF box
You don't got a condom? Use ya Supergirl socks
Halloween ain't hollow and it don't run shallow
Make you bite on your pillow like it's a marshmallow

[Verse 4: Stephen Colbert]
Well, that's one way to wiggle, but listen up close
There's a creepy kind of wiggle that I dig the most
You just stretch your bat wings and make 'em flap
And don't forget to do the Skeleton clap
[Verse 5: El-P]
Make ya pumpkin clap, make the candelabra flicker
I'ma haunt you so hard with my unwrapped Snickers
Stick my face in the candy bowl
Turn you around, lick your Hershey hole

[Verse 6: Stephen Colbert]
It's lots of fun if you bring your gang
Just beware of Casper and his spooky-ooky chain
Keep your eyes peeled for ghouls and ghosts
Oh, Halloween's a treat and I dig it the most

[Verse 7: Killer Mike]
Take it to the graveyard like a dead-ass snitch
You'll be on my broomstick like a trick-ass witch
Then I bring over my skeleton crew
And you can ride our bones until you scream and boo

[Verse 8: El-P]
Gonna give you a treat 'cause you're my trick
You dress like a witch, I provide the broomstick
Shake your Reese's Cups like you need the cash
Then I'll hit that ass like it's a graveyard smash

[Verse 9: Stephen Colbert, (Killer Mike), & El-P]
Trick-or-treating's about as much fun as you can get
(I'ma whip out my monster, make you suck my dick)
And we're still wiggling... It's the Halloween Wiggle...
Yeah, make them candy apples jiggle girl
Jiggle, jiggle girl
Jiggle, jiggle girl
[Laughter]
[Verse 10: Stephen Colbert]
Just to be clear, we're talking 'bout fruit
But now the party's over and it's time to scoot
So go home guys, put some candles on
And jack your lantern 'til the break of dawn

[Outro: Stephen Colbert (Killer Mike)]
(Dude, kids are watching!)
He said, "Hershey hole"!
You said, "Hershey hole"!
You were laughing about it!