[BUDDY]
I should be happy she found a friend
Someone to talk to, someone to study with
Someone to share a joke, someone to buddy with

(spoken)
Heh, 'buddy with'..

(singing)
I should be happy for her
Happy, happy
Happy for her
I should be happy

[SETH, spoken]
And "a gentleman" can be rearranged to spell "elegant man!"

[BUDDY]
But does he have to be so weird
And does he have to talk so much
And do they have to sit so close
And do their kneecaps have to touch?
Why is he sitting in the front?
Why is his tuba in the back?
Jesus, Buddy, take a breath
He's just a harmless braniac
[SETH, spoken]
Hey, you guys wanna share my muffin?

[BUDDY, spoken]
Nope! No food in my car!

[KIM, spoken]
What are you doing?

[SETH, spoken]
That was my breakfast...

[BUDDY]
I should be happy she likes a boy
Someone who's friendly
Someone who's well-behaved
Someone who's not tattooed
Someone who's never shaved

I should be happy for her
Happy, happy
Happy for her
I should be happy

[KIM, spoken]
"A duck with hiccups!"
[SETH, spoken]
That's so good!

[BUDDY]
But I don't like the way this feels
And I don't want to see them flirt
And I don't want him near my Kim
'Cause I don't want her getting hurt
I think I need to shut this down
I think I've let it go too far
I need to nip this in the bud
I need to stop this speeding car

(spoken) E-nough!
My daughter is a precious flower, I won't allow her to be picked!

[KIM, spoken]
Oh, God!

[SETH, spoken]
What?

[BUDDY]
Now, I'm not trying to be mean
And I don't mean to be a jerk
But I remember how this goes
And I know how the hormones work
[SETH, spoken]
What did I do?

[KIM, spoken]
Please stop

[BUDDY]
I know I'm getting huffy
But he's all up in my face
'Cause you let him in my car
Which you know is sacred space!

[KIM, spoken]
Cut it out!

[BUDDY]
Maybe you're just mad
I understand, but that's enough
By the way, you didn't fool me
With that 'share a muffin' stuff

[SETH, spoken]
I-

[BUDDY]
I may not be the brightest
But I'm smarter than I look
And I know what boys are after
'Cause kid, I wrote the book

[SETH, spoken]
Wow!

[KIM, spoken]
Dad!

[BUDDY]
Your mom and I had urges
I'm not saying that they're wrong
But they come with repercussions
That's how babies come along

[SETH, spoken]
Yikes!

[KIM, spoken]
Babies?!

[BUDDY]
You're a horny little punk
Who thinks that maybe there's a chance
But I swear to God, Weetis
You're not getting in her pants!

[KIM & SETH, spoken]
Eww!

[BUDDY]
You're not getting in her pants
You're not getting in her pants
You're not getting in her pants
You're not getting in her pants
Her pants
Her pants, pants, pants, pants
Pants, pants
Pants!