[Verse]
The night had just begun
I’m with the the boys we’re drinking having fun
Was out the house and had no where to run
And school just wasn’t as important as it used to be usually I’m consumed with my duties but speaking truthfully
Things have been rearranging my thought
Went to school with a dub in my pocket slipped and was caught
Got suspended for a minute
Now I’m timid distraught
Had some trouble with my family and what I was taught
But anyways we crackin' jokes and making conversation
Ask my friend bout his shoulder as an observation
I could see that he was in pain
Fresh out of surgery
Had to retain his strength but later occurred to me
He was on something greater than weed and liquor
Said the doctor gave him Oxycontin it would heal him quicker
Asked if we all wanted to try
Said I guess because the stress had taken over and the way I’m feeling sober is I wanted to die
So I threw one back
Let it resonate
Floating feather in my bed and I’m the only one at heavens gate
Feel in touch with myself
I could do this time to time and it won’t damage my health
But the rest of my boys were feeling nauseous
Acting cautious stomach deep with regret
Said they’d never touch that shit again and wish they’d forget
Now it’s posing a threat
Should I listen when they speak or am I missing what I seek I’ve never felt better yet
I told my boy that he should let me cop a couple more
Store em in the top drawer ask me what I want 'em for
Said I wanna sell 'em nothing other than money
But he noticed that my attitude funny
Lacking gratitude I threw em in my bag and then left
Boys are looking like my actions were as tragic theft
Shit I snorted every fuckin' pill
Feeling magic but I start to feel a habit As I ache for the thrill
Time is standing still
Everybody is noticing my behavior
And focusing on the notion I’m hopeless and need a savior
And asking me what the fuck I’m taking
Where the hell is the money I’m supposed to be making
Always telling lies
Hope they never catch me or it’s demise
Stealing all supplies that arise never compromise
All I wanna do is lay in the bed for the day
Fill my head with the powerful powder til I decay
But the homies try to bring me to around
Yet It’s hard to pick myself off the ground
Barely present while I’m stressed to surround
I remember chilled at my homies place
And he could read the drug addiction right across my lonely face
So I got pissed off and went to take a leak
Was afraid of every body and I didn’t wanna speak
Man I raided every cabinet in that room
Was so unsuccessful that I started planning out my doom
Felt like laying in the tomb
I don’t got no money
But I had to get high
So I walked along the street until the car passed by
And he said he had some dope and it was cheaper pills
Spent the last of all my money as I ran for the hills
Started smoking it at first
But in time my stomach emptied and the habit getting worst
Wasn’t smart enough to grab it so I had to quench the thirst
Acting passive as an addict turned my back as I rehearsed
Heard that shooting up was a whole experience I should try
While my eyes looking delirious floating up to sky
If I die
Man it wouldn’t make a difference
Can’t begin to comprehend the way I’m feeling in this instance
Started shooting up to start off the day
Life is hard and half my heart went away
Every sky often livid and grey
Haven’t seen my friends
Hiding from them all
Tried to quit but quickly slipped into the struggle of withdrawal
Man it only took a couple hours
Til i used and then it felt like I had super powers
Next day my boy came by
Told me I should jump in the whip
Talking quiet cause I’m so afraid to slip
See the destination
Saw a couple cars
Moved with a hesitation
Needed heroin to drown me in imagination
Walked in an intervention I was heated
Tried to turned around got slammed and then it hit me I’m defeated
Fuck I’ll listen what the hell am i here
Kept dispelling my addiction while the voices tried to speak in my ear
All I felt was fear
I needed drugs
Walked right out that fucking room and left my family with mugs
Hit my dealer said I needed a bag
Maybe more than I usually do because I feel like life is a drag
Locked my door as I sat on the floor opened the bag and I swore that this was the most dope I think I’ve ever had
Damn I took it all one shot
Started bleeding as I sat and watched my blood clot
Fell asleep quick
Shit I never woke
Something wrong I feel I blew it shit I should’ve spoke
Feel a warmness in my heart
Til I realized that it’s death and then my life was torn apart
I’m not waken up
I don’t think I will
But if god can help then please help cause I think that my heart went still