[Verse 1]
Spider-Man, Spider-Man
He's the man with the plan
Makin' out upside down
Spinnin' webs, runnin' 'round
All through town, just 'cause he can
That's why, that's why he's a Spider-Man

[Verse 2]
Spider-Man, fought Harry's dad
Harry's dad is dead, now Harry's mad
He's gonna stab you if he can
But, oh wait, he can't, he can't hurt Spider-Man
Why is that? 'Cause y'all are best friends
That's right, he's-he's best friends with Spider-Man

Spider-Man, deliver pizza

[Verse 3]
Spider-Man, Spider-Man
He stopped a train, yeah, with his bare hands
Octavius causin' a commotion
Spider-Man stepped in, now Doc's in the ocean

[Bridge]
Then Spider-Man 3 came
What happened, Spider-Man 3?
We wanted Venom but instead we got more Sandman and Peter Parker pelvic thrusts

[Verse 4]
Spider-Man, Spider-Man
Doin' things that a spider can, y'all
He made out with Gwen in front of his girl
Thought she wouldn't care but it wrecked her world
What's up? I thought you were smarter than that, Spider-Man
I don't know what the big deal is
She just a girl in my class
We only made out in front of like a thousand people in that special upside down way that only you and I have shared
Where ya goin'?
I haven't even shown you the engagement ring I got from my aunt
It didn't cost me a dime
I'm Spider-Man, y'all

*snickers*
That's so stupid