[Verse 1]
What makes you think that it won't grow back
In a day or two?
Husbands in winter, they know the truth
But what can they do?

[Refrain]
I don't like girls the way they are
So shave their legs and make them look like movie stars
Then we can pretend that it's natural

[Chorus]
Put on whatever makes you attractive
If it's not you then do it for the sake of fashion
Your friends like a certain you
That's who you've got to be

[Verse 2]
Junior high legs, blond hair gone brown
From removing it
Waxing since thirteen, wisdom from a beauty queen
Her tiara digging deep in her head

[Chorus]
Put on whatever makes you attractive
If it's not you then do it for the sake of fashion
Your friends like a certain you
That's who you've got to be
That's who you've got to be
[Bridge]
I'm starting to think that I'm kind of shy
Or at least I'd like to be

[Refrain]
Winter legs give me heart attacks
So take it off with lasers so it never comes back
Then we can pretend it's natural