[Verse 1]
Christmas really freaks me out. It makes me feel alone.
I think that elves are creepy. I'm not a fan of snow.
Forgive me when I say that Christmas is a bitch.
Chocolate makes my skin breakout.
I don't like decorations.
I'm sick of all these cheesy songs that play on every station.
I think it's all so whack, but people seem to disagree.
The kids wait up for Santa Claus, the man with overalls.
He eats their milk and cookies, must have high cholesterol.
But who am I to judge? This guy is not even real.
Cause mistletoe and candy canes, all of it's so freaking lame.
Sorry if I sound insane.

[Bridge]
Christmas sweaters make me itch, decorations always glitch, that's why Christmas is a bitch.

[Verse 2]
There's people shopping at the mall for phones and big TV's, wasting all their money on lights and Christmas trees, making corporations rich, that's why Christmas is a bitch.
And every time I look around, I see a smiling face, is this a problem just with me or with the human race?
All of these really annoying songs that people love to sing.
What can I possibly be missing from this Christmas thing?
Kids wait up for Santa Claus, a weird dude with overalls.
He eats their milk and cookies, this guy has gotta have high cholesterol.
But it makes people happy, it makes no sense to me.
It's a fat guy who breaks into your house. It's bullshit.
There's mistletoe and candy canes, I find all of this shit so lame.
I don't like playing cheerful games. If only I could flip a switch, it's a complicated sitch, that's why Christmas is a bitch.

[Outro]
These stupid sweaters make me itch, decorations always glitch, that's why Christmas is a bitch.