Sergeant Small ' Weddings Parties Anything

I went broke in western Queensland in 1931
Nobody would employ me so my swaggy days begun
I headed out to Charleville, out to the western towns
I was on my way to Roma, destination Darling Downs

And my pants were getting ragged, my shoes were getting thin
When we stopped in Mitchell, a goods train shunted in
The engine blew her whistle, I was looking up to see
She was on her way to Roma, that was very plain to me

I wished that I was 16 stone and only seven foot tall
I'd go back to western Queensland, and beat up Sergeant Small

As I sat and watched her, inspiration seemed to grow
And I remembered the government slogan, 'It's a railway that you own'
So by the time the sun was setting, and night was going nigh
So I gathered my belongings and I caught her on the fly

And as we came into Roma, I tucked my head down low
And a voice said 'any room mate?' and I answered, 'Plenty Beu'
Then at this tip this noble man, the voice of Sergeant Small
Said, 'I've trapped you very nicely, you're headed for a fall'

I wished that I was 16 stone and only seven foot tall
I'd go back to western Queensland, and beat up Sergeant Small
(instrumental, then change key)

The Judge was very kind to me, he gave me thirty days
He said, 'Maybe that would help to cure my rattler jumping ways'
So if your down and outback, let me tell you what I think
Just stay off the Queensland railways, it's a shortcut to the clink

I wished that I was 16 stone and only seven foot tall
I'd go back to western Queensland, and beat up Sergeant Small
I'd go back to western Queensland, and beat up Sergeant Small