[Verse 1: E-Dubble]
I'm in, sepia tone
My mind has been blown
Bathtub, gin sipping got me hugging the throne
Bootlegin' more shit than Alphonse Capone
Interstate beat traffic and I'm missing my home
Hold up, figure it out, I gotta' get back
But the hooch keeps singing telling me to get trashed—shut up!
I don't need to listen to a broken bottle
Especially when you speak like a geek from a Tolkien novel
Lord of the Rings, or king of the drunks
With some greasy food n' juice I'll be singing with spunk, yeah
And y'all ain't never heard of Harold the Dog
Unless you woke up and choked on the Terriers' balls
And now we're driving around in my Tin Lizzie
Bard's asking why I didn't call—I've been busy
Please flapper lady, don't make that face
'Cause there's a mason jar of happiness to take your place

[Chorus: Peter Muth]
Yo, oh
Step into the spot where the scotch is neat
But the floors are all touchy better watch your feet
The world keeps crumbling, and we're all mumbling
The night is young
At the Speakeasy, you know you're gonna have fun
And you drink for free, so you're gonna get drunk
And you can always come back here for more
[Verse 2: Josh Glazer]
I feel like I'm in sepia tone
In the morning at the Speakeasy, drinking alone
I lost my job and can't provide for my home
So I gotta pawn off everything that I own
I got the radio on, listening to Jack Benny and George Burns
Going shot for shot by myself and it's your turn
This fifth of bootleg is feeling more like it's four-thirds
But more birds are walking in the joint with their short skirts
Ooh hotsy-totsy, wantin' my jalopy
Tighten up my bib, it's about to get sloppy
Fighting with my kids 'cause they always try to stop me
And they're cocky
So I beat them with a stick just like it's hockey
Getting primed off the dimes that my kids make
Getting primed because I need to get shit faced
Everybody in my family thinks I'm a disgrace
But I'm too drunk to notice, my home is this place

[Chorus: Peter Muth]
Yo, oh
Step into the spot where the scotch is neat
But the floors are all touchy better watch your feet
The world keeps crumbling, and we're all mumbling
The night is young
At the Speakeasy, you know you're gonna have fun
And you drink for free, so you're gonna get drunk
And you can always come back here for more
[Verse 3: Tup Ricig]
We living life black and white and a little bit brownish
Uptown women acting all downtownish
Sneaking through the back doors, speaking all easy
Moving on down like they was reverse squeezy
Bathtub liquor like they had no riches
All these upscale ladies dun turned into prohibitches
And us wiseguys smile 'cause you know we benefitin'
Making deals, and we stealing most the liquor that we gettin'
Know we brew this shit up, moonshine to get you toasty
The fuzz show up, we disappear all ghosty—poof! We gone
Just an ordinary warehouse
"Where'd all the liquor go?"
We back drinking it at their house
Sleeping with they wives while they tryna track us down
Tryna get us to talk but we won't make a sound
They try to get us to leave, but we nailed to the ground
'Cause we in sepia tones, and this is our town now

[Chorus: Peter Muth]
Yo, oh
Step into the spot where the scotch is neat
But the floors are all touchy better watch your feet
The world keeps crumbling, and we're all mumbling
The night is young
At the Speakeasy, you know you're gonna have fun
And you drink for free, so you're gonna get drunk
And you can always come back here for more