Soliloquies

Stuck in my head lounge music in the background

I look around at all the people I have let down

So many faces in the pages of my storybook

Half of them still have faith in me

The other half has given up

And why wouldn't they

I am a letdown people who love me

Slowly watch me try to find a noun

Instead of find a job or

Enough credits to graduate

I can barely finish what is on my

Fucking dinner plate

I sit in my dirty room writing soliloquies

About the breeze to a warm autumn tune

Try to forget all the problems i’ve caused

If I think about them too much I feel so lost

And why is life so anethetical

My depression and anxiety they make me skeptical

How can anyone be content with the thought of wishing

If I can't make myself happy,then what's the point of living

I just want to be the person they say I can be

But the longer I look in the mirror

The more tears run down my cheeks

So i’ll continue to write in this notebook that I keep

But I know down deep inside my sadness plays on repeat