[...there's also a handle of Jack Daniels, tequila, all that stuff. All right it's the perfect segue into our next song. This song's called Champagne For The Pain. Sometimes tequila, sometimes beer, sometimes all three of them... Mix in red wine and it's the worst night of your life....]

[Instrumental]

[Verse 1]
[?]
[?]
[?]
Used to gettin' her own way
She didn't like beer, or whiskey, hell Everclear
She only drank champagne
Let's dress up fancy
And go out dancin'
That's what she used to say
Never would know I clean up pretty good
[I do]
That's one thing that would've changed

[Chorus]
Ain't it just a damn shame
How it never tastes the same
Sparklin' wine was once for the good times
But champagne's for the pain
Sparklin' wine was once for the good times
But champagne's for the pain
[Verse 2]
Would you go with me?
Or start the show with me?
Sun no longer shines
Head on down to the outskirts of town
Where they've always got the time
Her and me
We spent last New Year's Eve
And toasted our new love
Now she's gone
But I'm still hangin' on
One sip is never enough

[Chorus]
Ain't it a just damn shame
How it never tastes the same
And sparklin' wine was once for the good times
But champagne's for the pain
Sparklin' wine was once for the good times
But champagne's for the pain

[Instrumental]

[...close enough]

[Bridge]
I won't be
In the [?]
If she comes back again with
This glass of whiskey gone down
It's best gettin' gone
Guess I never belonged
Since you ain't been around
[Chorus]
Ain't it just a damn shame
How it never tastes the same
And sparklin' wine was once for the good times
But champagne's for the pain
Sparklin' wine was once for the good times
But champagne's for the pain

[Instrumental]

[All right we got time for one more song... and since you all are in Austin, Texas, it's only appropriate we're gonna play you a song called Texas. Whatever state you're from, and we love all the states, the great states in this beautiful Union. But there's nothin' better than Central Texas in the springtime. You're all blessed to be here. Just wanna remind you guys, what's the website, anybody remember? Yell it out if you know it, don't be shy. Midland Official. What's the website that'll get you banned and maybe kicked out of this country? Exactly. Midland Unofficial. Don't ever do that. I swear to god it'll change your life in a bad way. Midland Official will change your life in a really good way.]

[Instrumental]