[MICHAEL C. HALL]
I felt the glory on the stage
A candy ad for a brand-new age
A thing that's never been done

Stardom was within my reach
I'd written my acceptance speech
The audience and I were one

And yes, I tasted the rainbow
I saw firsthand the way the colors glow
Purple, orange, yellow, green, and red

A man learns what his limits are
When he tries to become a superstar
But instead he ends up dead

[WOMAN 1]
This definitely was a bad idea
(Whoa-oa)
Cause I wasted two-hundred bucks to sit here!

[MICHAEL C. HALL]
And also cause I'm dead

[MAN 1]
This ad won't help us reach our sales goal for the year
[ENSEMBLE]
This definitely was a bad idea
This definitely was a bad idea
(Whoa-oa)

[WOMAN 2]
'Cause the show was boring and unclear

[MICHAEL C. HALL]
And it resulted in my death!

[MAN 2]
I missed the game in Atlanta to be at this premiere

[MICHAEL C. HALL]
I'm dead

[ENSEMBLE]
This definitely was a bad idea
This definitely was a huge mistake

[MICHAEL C. HALL]
I'm a ghost with a bunch of heavy chains!

[MAN 3]
We should've just gone for a really nice steak
[MICHAEL C. HALL]
And I should've stayed alive!

[MAN 4]
I helped killed Broadway and I feel like such a fake

[MICHAEL C. HALL]
You also helped kill me

[ENSEMBLE]
This definitely was a huge mistake

[ENSEMBLE MEMBERS, spoken]
Hey are you guys seeing this? An article in Business Insider says Skittles sold 587 packs at the concessions during the show
Hm, that's not even half the audience
It's better than nothing!
Yeah, I guess so. Or is it?

600 packs is pretty decent. This has been a tough year for consumer packaged goods!

Guys, my mom just called me and told me the show sold almost 600 packs of Skittles!
(Wow, 600 packs...)
600 packs?
Yeah, almost!

(This is incredible!)
The people who work at the concessions stands deserved to be recognized

(600 packs!)

A silver lining in a Skittles advertising stunt that resulted in the death of actor Michael C. Hall
(600 packs!)
(Thank you, Michael.)

Those 600 packs really give Michael's life meaning
It was almost 600 packs

Someone in the lobby just bought another pack!

Thank you, Michael
(Thank you, Michael.)
Thank you, Michael for raising Skittles sales by almost 600 packs!
(600 packs!)
Thank you, Michael. You did it!
(You did it!)

I guess we did it!
The bill proposing funding for a high speed rail system was rejected by a bipartisan committee...

[ENSEMBLE]
This Skittles ad sold nearly 600 packs!
We should all be patting each other's backs!

[MICHAEL C. HALL]
I was killed by an angry mob, but I'm glad you're all relaxed!

[ENSEMBLE]
'Cause this Skittles ad sold nearly 600 packs

This has been a really tough year for snacks
(Whoa-oa)
But together we sold 600 packs!
(Or a number close to that!)

[MICHAEL C. HALL]
Could someone water my ficus and maybe feed my cats?
(Feed his cats!)

[ENSEMBLE]
Cause this Skittles ad sold nearly 600 packs!
(Skittles, baby! 600 packs!)