Ladies, the minutes will soon be read today
The garden club and weaving class I'm sure have much to say
But next week is our culture night, our biggest, best event
And I've just made a dish for it you'll all find heaven-sent
It's my lime Jell-O marshmallow cottage cheese surprise
With slices of pimento. You won't believe your eyes!
All topped with a pineapple ring and a dash of mayonnaise
My vanilla wafers round the edge will win your highest praise

And Mrs. Jones is making scones that are filled with peanut mousse
To be followed by a chicken mold that's made in the shape of a goose
For ladies who must watch those pounds, we've found a special dish
Strawberry ice enshrined in rice with bits of tuna fish!

And my lime Jell-O marshmallow cottage cheese surprise
Truly a creation that description defies
Will go so well with Mrs. Bell's creation of the week
Shrimp salad topped with chocolate sauce and garnished with a leek

And Mrs. Perkins' walnut loaf that's crowned with melted cheese
Was such a hit last Culture Night we asked, "No seconds, please."
Now you must try her hot dog pie with candied mushroom slices
Those ladies who resigned last year, they just don't know what nice is

And my lime Jell-O marshmallow cottage cheese surprise
I did not steal that recipe! It's lies, I tell you! Lies!
Our grand award: a picture hat and a salmon sequined gown
For any girl who tries each dish and keeps her whole lunch down