[Verse 1]
Steal a car, lubricate, do it now, this is great
Buckle up and prepare for masturbation
I'm gonna steal a car and masturbate while speeding
I'm gonna cum real hard, and shoot all over the road
These are some friends of mine, they live in my cerebellum
They say "go jerk off on that" and I ask them how much to cum
Drive and speed while vigorously beating it like a drum
I go through the drive thru and then I CUM!
We're gonna go downtown and take the CTA
'Cause masturbation here is pretty okay
Irving Park, gonna cum on the wall
Cum on thе floor at State
Chinatown gonna EMPTY MY BALLS
Masturbation is great
Go to bed, go to bеd, go to bed, go to bed
Go to bed, go to bed, go to bed now....

[Verse 2]
I think it's time to be cutting my grass
I really ought to be cutting it fast
I don't know how much time has passed
The PCP goes in my asshole
Then I gotta find all my clothes
Put this thing up into my nose
I think my penis just arose!
Go outside and here it goes
I'm gonna mow my lawn, but first I'll take some Quaaludes
Then forget I mowed my lawn, then I'll mow it again
This time I'll masturbate while I mow my front lawn
Hello there neighbor, won't you be my friend?
I don't know where I am at any given time
I'll shave your ball-sack. Would you shave mine!?
Now I'll stand right here, hallucinate in the street
I'm shaving my front yard and beating my meat....
[Outro]
How did I get here, in the bathroom???
How did I get here, in the bathroom???