I always knew that this was going to be a step that I would take. At first, I was a little hesitant because I knew things were going to change but then I decided it was the right decision to make.

So on the 1st January 2004 my journey began and I finally decided to put on the Hijab. Every girl who puts on the hijab is faced with some sort of obstacle. For some, it’s their families not wanting them to wear it, others have self-esteem issues with it, others face doubts about it. The challenge I faced was one that many others have also faced.

Starting and going to a high school with hardly any Muslims and where you’re the first Muslim people have met was no easy task. As teenagers, fitting in is the most fundamental thing in high school. Having no friends in high school, is something every teenager tries to avoid. So, I tried to be like them. Whatever the latest trend was, I went along with it. Not just that but I needed to keep up with the latest beauty standards.

Looking in the mirror for me was an exercise to try and pinpoint all the things wrong with me and that I needed to change. My self-esteem became dependent on the make-up I wore. On top of this, there was no way I could hide the fact that I was not like the other kids at school. I was embarrassed and I would often ask myself why I needed to be so different. So, I went about my high school life struggling with my identity, trying to answer the question of who I was really. The truth is I felt extremely lonely.

Looking back, the reasoning why I was so embarrassed of who I was, was because I had not yet fully understood the Hijab. I thought the Hijab was purely about modesty. I thought the Hijab was there just to protect women from the gaze of men. But unfortunately, that was a very shallow and two-dimensional understanding of the Hijab. It was not until I got to University and started to take learning about my religion seriously that something happened.

I fell in love.

I fell in love with the Hijab because I came to understand that it was not simply a piece of fabric draped over my body to conceal beauty and preserve modesty. It was a physical manifestation of my submission and connection with my Lord. An external representation of my inward spirituality.

When I learnt the rationale for the Hijab presented in the Quran. I was blown away. Not only did it shatter my shallow understanding of the Hijab. It proved to me God had validated my beauty. Therefore, I needed to make the most of the opportunities and blessings I’ve been gifted with. Knowing this has actually pushed me to constantly improve myself and ensure my actions and character are in line with the teachings of Islam.

But, we need to understand that by wearing the Hijab, I am not declaring, “I am Islam”. Rather “I am a Muslim”. Meaning - I am someone who is trying to follow this religion, who accepts it as the truth, sees beauty in it and hopes to beautify myself with it.

Ultimately, no one is perfect. As humans, we’re susceptible to making mistakes. The hijab doesn’t make you a more perfect or righteous human being. Rather, it’s a constant reminder to keep striving and excel in your personal and spiritual development.

Remember no matter how dark the world gets, be like that star that stands out and shines the way for others to see.