H. CHANDLER:
Are we gonna have a problem?
You got a bone to pick?
You’ve come so far,
Why now are you pulling on my dick?
I’d normally slap your face off,
And everyone here could watch.
But I’m feeling nice.
Here’s some advice-
Listen up, biotch!

H. DUKE; H. MCNAMARA:
I like!

H. CHANDLER:
Lookin’ hot,
Buying stuff they cannot

H. DUKE; H. MCNAMARA:
I like!

H. CHANDLER:
Drinkin’ hard,
Maxin’ Dad’s credit card

H. DUKE; H. MCNAMARA:
I like!

H. CHANDLER:
Skippin’ gym
Scaring her
Screwing him

H. DUKE; H. MCNAMARA:
I like!

H. CHANDLER:
Killer clothes

HEATHERS:
Kickin’ nerds in the nose!

H. CHANDLER:
If you lack the balls
You can go play dolls
Let your mommy fix you a snack

H. DUKE; H. MCNAMARA:
Woah!

H. CHANDLER:
Or you could come smoke
Pound some rum and coke
In my Porsche with the quarterback.

HEATHERS:
Woah! Woah! Woah!
Honey, whatchu waitin’ for?
Welcome to my candy store
It’s time for you to prove
You’re not a loser anymore
And step into my candy store

H. CHANDLER; H. MCNAMARA:
Guys fall

H. DUKE:
At your feet
Pay the check

H. MCNAMARA:
Help you cheat

HEATHERS:
All you

H. DUKE:
Have to do

H. CHANDLER:
Say goodbye to Shamu!

HEATHERS:
That freak’s

H. MCNAMARA:
Not your friend
I can tell in the end

HEATHERS:
If she

H. MCNAMARA:
Had your shot

HEATHERS:
She would leave you to rot!

H. MCNAMARA:
‘Course if you don’t care
Fine! Go braid her hair
Maybe Sesame Street is on

HEATHERS:
Woah!

H. MCNAMARA:
Or forget that creep

H. DUKE:
And get in my jeep

H. CHANDLER:
Let’s go tear up someone’s lawn

HEATHERS:
Woah! Woah! Woah!
Honey, whatchu waitin’ for?
Welcome to my candy store
You just gotta prove
You’re not a pussy anymore
And step into my candy store

H. CHANDLER:
You can join the team

H. DUKE; H. MCNAMARA:
Or you can bitch and moan

H. CHANDLER:
You can live the dream

H. DUKE; H. MCNAMARA:
Or you can die alone

H. CHANDLER:
You can fly with eagles

HEATHERS:
Or if you prefer

H. CHANDLER:
Keep on testing me

H. DUKE; H. MCNAMARA:
And end up like her!

MARTHA:
Veronica, look!
Ram invited me to his homecoming party.
This proves he’s been thinking about me.

VERONICA:
Color me stoked.

MARTHA:
I’m so happy!

HEATHERS:
Woah!

H. DUKE:
Honey, whachu waiting fo—

H. CHANDLER:
SHUT UP HEATHER!
Step into my can-dy-- store Oooh woah!

H. CHANDLER; H. DUKE; H. MCNAMARA:
Whoa- Time for you to prove
You’re not a lame ass anymore- Then step into my candy store!

HEATHERS:
It’s my candy store,
It’s my candy-
It’s my candy store,
It’s my candy-
It’s my candy store,
It's my candy store!