It all started July 9th, 2018 when I woke up on my 25th birthday and realized I couldn't face the day without reaching for a drink
I had no one to care for, nothing to care about, no direction in life
A passion with no talent
That's when I turned to the mirror and noticed that the cracks in my skin started to form
I'm getting old
I guess a glimmer of hope appeared when I was offered a chance to follow my dream career
But it just made me feel so alone
So I turned back to the mirror and continued to watch the cracks in my skin grow
This failed being was my deepest anxiety
What if I die alone
So, I just scoffed, leaving home
I turned to God just for someone to talk to
I never believed before and I still don't
But it was nice to say it out loud
At least there was one constant thing that kept me grounded and that was her
I wrote her a letter to explain how I hoped she'd never leave
By this point I realized I had become a burden to everyone around me
One thing stuck in my head, no man told asked for help
I began to remember my father who passed when I was young
And I started to think perhaps it's my turn
With such thoughts of death in my head, I started to realize
I was already dead cause I was alone
I pictured my ideal heaven
Just a beach I grew up in
With all of the people that I used to know
And I began to think of my mother
And I began to think I want to see her again
So I guess now this is just something to leave behind
I'm a mento, a token, or just something to remember me by