Politically Charged: I'm your overly political friend, constantly spamming your feed with blanket statements about candidates, being the devil's seed.

(Spoken) I have an article here that shows quantifiable evidence that YOUR candidate wants to start WWIII and once ate a child. Think about it.

TMI: I'm your awkward friend who shares too much for all of Facebook to see. I've got a really big wart on my back, whenever I lay down, it bleeds.

(Spoken) Here are some pics from 4 different angles, You're welcome.

Teenage Girl: I'm a teenage girl, and you can't remember how we ended up being friends. All my photes are incoherent, none of them make any sense.

(Spoken) LMBO, Cookies! Yum yub! Just cruisin' smells. Lamp post!!!

All: We never stop posting, can't you see, Facebook is out home, and we never leave (Teenage Girl: Frogs!! LOL) Cause we're the 3 most annoying people on your newsfeed.

TMI: (Spoken) I threw up for 9 hours today. Here are some pics from 4 different angles.

Publicly Emotional: I'm your friend who's not afraid to advertise her breakups loudly. I make everyone uncomfortable, because I wear my pain too proudly.

(Spoken) ATTENTION EVERYONE: Brett broke up with me! DO NOT date this man! Because I still love him! #benandjerrys

New Mom: I'm a new mom who posts 58 Instagrams on my child daily, I also post alot of questions that make you worry about my baby.

(Spoken) What's the right amount of time to let little kids sit in front of the TV? 11 hours or 12 hours?

Newlywed: I'm the Newlywed that's bursting for everyone to know that I'm so much happier than everyone else, gonna shove it down your throats!