[Verse 1]
Girl dropped me like a yo-yo
So now I'm flyin' solo
New dude in her Facebook photo
Looks like Chevy Chase
Lost my keys, I's late to work
Bossman actin' like a jerk
He was doggin' me so I broke the leash
And put in my two weeks

[Chorus]
Bought some Walmart shades and a one-way ticket
South of the USA, girl, I bet you wishin'
You had this palm tree view, no shirt, no shoes
But I got a hot date with the sand and the sun
Ninety-nine problems but a beach ain't one

[Verse 2]
A margarita and a mini umbrella
Sure helps a sunburnt fella
Around here, taxi cabs ain't yellow
But I took one anyway, yeah, I did
I went on a little coastal cruise
Just soakin' up them ocean blues
Ate a local enchilada
And there's a town here called Chihuahua? What?
[Chorus]
Got some Walmart shades and a one-way ticket
South of the USA, girl, I bet you wishin'
You had this palm tree view, no shirt, no shoes
But I got a hot date with the sand and the sun
Ninety-nine problems but a beach ain't one

[Bridge]
Sittin' here, smokin' this cigar
Ain't no part of me wonderin' where you are
Oh, hell nah

[Chorus]
Got some Walmart shades and a one-way ticket
South of the USA, girl, I bet you wishin'
You had this palm tree view, no shirt, no shoes
But I got a hot date with the sand and the sun
Ninety-nine problems but a beach ain't one

[Outro]
No, a beach ain't one
Oh, it's feelin' good out here, baby
Woo, yeah
No, a beach ain't one
Oh, no, it ain't
No, a beach ain't one