David Lindsay-Abaire & Jeanine Tesori
Donkey Pot Pie
[DONKEY]
Dragon!

[DRAGON]
You didn't knock when you entered, baby
You didn't wipe your feet

[DONKEY]
Aw, geez!

[DRAGON]
I didn't see, I did not see no open house sign
Is this is a trick-or-treat?
Ooo-ooo-ooo

[DONKEY, spoken]
A little help here!

[DRAGON]
You need to brush up on fairytales, friend
'Cause dragons like their sleep

[DONKEY, spoken]
Go on and grab some shut-eye!

[DRAGON]
I wrote the book on fire-breathing
Why don't you read it and weep, weep, weep?

[DONKEY, spoken]
I'm actually already in a book club
We're reading Angela's Ashes

[DRAGON]
I'm gonna shake you
I'm gonna bake you
I'm gonna make you a donkey pot pie

[DONKEY, spoken]
What?!

[DRAGON]
Salisbury steak you
I'll Frosted Flake you
I'll patty-cake you, my donkey pot pie
Yeah!
Yeah!

[DONKEY]
Wait a minute!
My, what big teeth you have
They're so sparkling white
I bet you hear this from all of your food
But you must bleach at night
Is that a hint of minty freshness?
(Oh, I am scared to death!)
I like a girl with a dazzlin' smile
And Tic-Tac on her breath
Oh-oh-oh...
Don't kill me
Lady with the pretty teeth

[DRAGON]
I'm gonna love you

[DONKEY, spoken]
Huh?

[DRAGON]
And take hold of you

[DONKEY, spoken]
Slow down, baby

[DRAGON]
I'll velvet glove you...

[DONKEY, spoken]
Velvet glove me?

[DRAGON]
My donkey pot pie!
I'm gonna keep you
Little, Little Bo Peep you
I'm gonna sweep you
Up into the sky
I'm gonna squeeze you
I'm gonna tease you
I'm gonna please you
I'm gonna have me
A big ol' honkin'
Sloppy-gloppy-cherry-on-the-toppy
Piece of donkey!
Pot!
Pie...
Na-nana-nanana!
Donkey!

[DONKEY]
Ah!

[DRAGON]
Donkey!

[DONKEY]
Ooo!

[DRAGON]
Donkey!

[DONKEY]
Ai!

[DRAGON]
Pot!

[DONKEY]
Yeah!

[DRAGON]
Pie-ie-ie-ie-ie-ie!