There's a pain in my ass this Christmas
And that pain in my ass is you
Mistletoe is up in flames, darling
All the stockings are askew

My hot chocolate's getting cold, dear
You can heat it up with all your coal
Someone hasn't been very good this year
Left my heart an empty hole

Eat shit and die (eat shit and die)
On the silent night (eat shit and die)
We'll have a blue, blue, Christmas
Drowning under ice

There's a pain in my ass this Christmas
And that pain in my ass is you
Mistletoe is up in flames, darling
Everyday I'm feeling blue