"Well, we would like to -- I'd like to do a couple of love songs here for you now. One -- you know the man's best friend is his dog, if he's got nothing else... And, uh, this song is about a dog."

Well, he's not very handsome to look at
Aw, he's shaggy and eats like a hog
And he's always killing my chickens
That dirty old egg-sucking dog

Egg-sucking dog
I'm gonna stomp your head in the ground
If you don't stay out of my hen house
You dirty old egg-sucking hound

Now if he don't stop eating my eggs up
Though I'm not a real bad guy
I'm going to get my rifle and send him
To that great chicken house in the sky