Boom...
This a song 'bout getting messed up
Just a little ditty 'bout getting drunk
Just a little song about getting crunk
This is a song 'bout getting messed up

The time has come to throw the gauntlet down
I'm going downtown to grab a bag of brown
I'm gonna stick my face in a pile of coke 'til I look like a clown
I'm gonna drink a bottle of Scotch until I drown

This a song 'bout getting messed up
This is a tune about getting crunk
Just a little ditty 'bout getting drunk
This is a song 'bout getting messed up

Just to give you some idea
I'm gonna shove a pile of drugs in a tortilla and eat

This a song 'bout getting messed up
Little tune about getting crunk
Little ditty 'bout getting drunk
This is a song 'bout getting messed up

The time has come to relieve a bit o' stress
Gonna smoke some crystal meth and hit the bench press
Gonna snort some bath salts and then debate
Whether to go down to Florida and eat somebody's face
This a song 'bout getting messed up
Little tune about getting drunk
Little ditty 'bout getting crunk
This is a song 'bout getting messed up

Just to give you some idea
I'm gonna stuff a pile of drugs in a tortilla
I'm getting more messed up than I need to
And I may wake up in Crimea
With gonorrhea

Solo!

I've been told to just say no
But that was before I drank an entire case of Merlot
I'm getting more messed up tonight than I need to
And I may wake up in Crimea with gonorrhea

Ate three percosets and 2 ecstasy
Crankin' the tunes in hi-fidelity
Enjoying vicodin in perpetuity
Lookin' forward to a pancreatectomy

...Just kidding...