Congratulations, for you have found
A very, very, very, very epic song
And it is my hope, by the end, you'll sing along
Let us go...

Dinosaurs and spaceships, and cool movie scenes
Breaking all the rules, having cool fucking dreams
Getting wasted with your buddies and running from the cops
Dine and dash at the diner, stealin' merchandise from the shops
Smoking heroine in the ally, well maybe don't do that
Having sex with a hot 17 year old, you'd better wear a hat
Dropping acid on a car trip down to New Orleans
Doin' what you want within reason, that's what epic means

Don't you worry, there will be little doubt
If it's epic
Won't take long, won't take long now to find out
If it's epic

Sitting like a Buddha on a spinning ball of dirt
Beating off to internet porno til your wrist begins to hurt
Watching a beautiful sunset on a sandy west coast beach
Saying crazy bullshit at your best friend's wedding speach
Walking into a casino, putting all your chips on black
Convincing human resources that you never smoked no crack
Winning hot dog eating contests by having intestines removed
Telling awesome, epic stories, even if that shit's not true
Don't you worry, there will be little doubt
If it's epic
Won't be long, won't be long now to find out
If it's epic
Don't you worry, there will be little doubt
If it's epic
Won't be long, won't be long now to find out
Prepare for the epic...

You should try everything once
Well maybe not everything...

If it makes you want to stand up and shout
Then it's epic
If it doesn't make you want to pout
It might be epic
Don't you worry, there will be little doubt
When it's epic
Won't be long, won't be long now to find out
If it's epic