I don't wanna die
But the bottle is my home
I don't want to be touched
Is it my fault is it my fault
Is it mine

No

I could never find the words -
There's no cure for awkward
Drink until it hurts
I'm embarrassed

A gallon between me and the world

My irresponsible responses:
Belligerent and impatient
All adds to harm and foul; shame
Cutting myself
Displace my focus
I am heaving begging for space
Bleeding, I'm torn by a different me

Deflate the urge to complain
I accept the blade

Swallow the dirt

It doesn't hurt
Not when my thoughts are secured

But I'm never secure

Am I supposed to be?
I'm paranoid and can't sleep

Kolonipan, liquor &&& fate
Ingesting all of my mistakes
Push them onto the floor
I couldn't keep them down

Shaking and swelling
I'm not convinced I deserve to be sober

Chew on chunks of mirror
To show I really regret it

I just want to be approached without the intent to disrobe
The expectation to drink 'til I'm numb -
Ready to make you cum

No one ever gave a shit

I'm drunk
I'm easy
Between you and the reaper my body means nothing
So take it & don't give it back
I'm not sure it was mine to begin with

All they ever seem to say - "You wanna fuck me?"
But hear that boil in my chest -
Don't you fucking touch me

I don't want it don't need it leaves me repeating my burning sensation bible and a bottle in my pillow case
I wish I was sleeping

I can feel the burn
I feel it burn
And I'll feel it
I feel it
Don't wanna feel no more
Forced to lay -
To keep peace in the bottle
Until the stench is vulgar

I'm disgusting and I know it and I'm sorry but I can't stop

I'm sorry
Momma
Love me

Dead