(To the tune of “Chim Chim Cher-ee”)

BERT:
Chim chiminey, chim chiminey, winds from the east
Ideas for new shows have sharply decreased
Orphans of dead movies pop up on stage
All pumped up with steroids for the MTV age
Chim chiminey, chip chits, cher-ee (?)

MARY POPPINS (spoken):
Hello, children. I’m Mary Poppins, and my new show is practically putrid in every way

(Sung, to the tune of “Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious”)

It’s... stupid, careless, fictional, nonsensical verboseness
Even though the sound of it may give it grandioseness
So damn cute you choke on all the (?) sweet glucose-ness
Stupid, careless, fictional, nonsensical verboseness!
Um diddle diddle diddle, um diddle-ay... (2x)

Since “Mary Poppins” came to town, you intellects will blush
So many Disney characters you’ll get a sugar rush
There’s “Lion King” and “Tarzan,” Mrs. Potts, and little Belle
You think you’re at a Broadway show, but you’re in Disney hell
It’s stupid, careless, fictional, nonsensical verboseness
Even though the sound of it may give it grandioseness
Using it will put you in a state of comatose-ness
Stupid, careless, fictional, nonsensical verboseness!
Um diddle diddle diddle, um diddle-ay... (4x)