Confessions and Apologies
Part I
[Verse 1]
Not only did you help me through 15 years
Man, you gave me life, so every time I get mad and try you
I think about it, in spite of shit I went through when I was younger
Try to fight the demons, try to fight, get up
I won't lose, I'm stubborn, but I guess that's from my father right?
Every time that I went through shit on a basis
You picked me up from the hole I was in
In my room, thinking I was nothing
A waste of breath, the air was to far to catch
Still think about regrets in my head
And it's worst than if I dreamed I was dead
Thank God, I'm not, cause I know how much pain
It would cause your heart, dead in the grave
And I'll cry at my own funeral, that's a start
Whether from suicide from these thoughts
Going on, and I can barely stop, moving
I'm freaking out, and I'm glad that you pushed to me highest
Telling me change, but I can't I'm just honest
As much as I wanna follow the train of a good place
Hell is the only way, I'm sorry to say it
Cause I know that's were I'm heading
If I was ever not to have no sympathy
That would be foolish, I would help you every time I could
Cause I have a heart too, and it's true
That your the only person I know
What I'm going through, cause I know from school
You were in my shoes, younger and naive
I didn't what to think, you told me "keep my head high
Cause God will look down to see me" and in the end I agree
Glad you had a little me, and he will and I know grow up to be
The better me, and follow in my footsteps
Where the ground meets, he gave my energy back
Cause really, if I was an only child I'd be lonelier
Than stray cats, and that's a fact, so I'm glad
And to be honest, when you said another kid coming after that
I was really wondering what she'll be like
And boy oh boy, she really is the best
She was the peak, where I felt happy that
I'll have two siblings to love and care for
And I thank you for that, them only children
Get what they want without really needing to ask
But I'd be dead, if I didn't have them two
Because I love em, and there's no other end to that
Part II
[Verse 2]
Put all my emotion into a pen, cause not only other people
But you inspired to rap and try try again
This is for you, this is for all shit I've done in my past
Made you wanna cry, made me wanna cry, shit we both sad
I'm sorry, for all the things I've said
I'm never trying to cross a line and
In my head I know some shit was stupid to say
If I just didn't have heartless thoughts
I'd probably wouldn't be this way
I'm sorry, for not listening to your word
Yelling at you when I was mad
Take out my anger on my own mother
I fucking hate myself, hate my own guts
I hate the shit I've did, and "I" did it, I know
Why, my demons fuck me up, they flipping like gymnast though
I have an unconfident conscience, meaning it messes with me
Can't stop doing these things
Knowing I'll get in trouble
All this pain is like a Brazil bee, it stings
I promise I will change and never cuss at my mother
That one that birthed me, I don't why the fuck
I keep forgetting that shit, I'm always on some shit
I can't think, what's wrong am I mentally ticked?
Now I realize, why I see disappointment in your eyes
It's my fault, my body is a war zone, but I wanna fight
I hope you see why I feel this way, and understand my demise
One more thing before this letter ends, I apologize
[Verse 1]
Not only did you help me through 15 years
Man, you gave me life, so every time I get mad and try you
I think about it, in spite of shit I went through when I was younger
Try to fight the demons, try to fight, get up
I won't lose, I'm stubborn, but I guess that's from my father right?
Every time that I went through shit on a basis
You picked me up from the hole I was in
In my room, thinking I was nothing
A waste of breath, the air was to far to catch
Still think about regrets in my head
And it's worst than if I dreamed I was dead
Thank God, I'm not, cause I know how much pain
It would cause your heart, dead in the grave
And I'll cry at my own funeral, that's a start
Whether from suicide from these thoughts
Going on, and I can barely stop, moving
I'm freaking out, and I'm glad that you pushed to me highest
Telling me change, but I can't I'm just honest
As much as I wanna follow the train of a good place
Hell is the only way, I'm sorry to say it
Cause I know that's were I'm heading
If I was ever not to have no sympathy
That would be foolish, I would help you every time I could
Cause I have a heart too, and it's true
That your the only person I know
What I'm going through, cause I know from school
You were in my shoes, younger and naive
I didn't what to think, you told me "keep my head high
Cause God will look down to see me" and in the end I agree
Glad you had a little me, and he will and I know grow up to be
The better me, and follow in my footsteps
Where the ground meets, he gave my energy back
Cause really, if I was an only child I'd be lonelier
Than stray cats, and that's a fact, so I'm glad
And to be honest, when you said another kid coming after that
I was really wondering what she'll be like
And boy oh boy, she really is the best
She was the peak, where I felt happy that
I'll have two siblings to love and care for
And I thank you for that, them only children
Get what they want without really needing to ask
But I'd be dead, if I didn't have them two
Because I love em, and there's no other end to that
Part II
[Verse 2]
Put all my emotion into a pen, cause not only other people
But you inspired to rap and try try again
This is for you, this is for all shit I've done in my past
Made you wanna cry, made me wanna cry, shit we both sad
I'm sorry, for all the things I've said
I'm never trying to cross a line and
In my head I know some shit was stupid to say
If I just didn't have heartless thoughts
I'd probably wouldn't be this way
I'm sorry, for not listening to your word
Yelling at you when I was mad
Take out my anger on my own mother
I fucking hate myself, hate my own guts
I hate the shit I've did, and "I" did it, I know
Why, my demons fuck me up, they flipping like gymnast though
I have an unconfident conscience, meaning it messes with me
Can't stop doing these things
Knowing I'll get in trouble
All this pain is like a Brazil bee, it stings
I promise I will change and never cuss at my mother
That one that birthed me, I don't why the fuck
I keep forgetting that shit, I'm always on some shit
I can't think, what's wrong am I mentally ticked?
Now I realize, why I see disappointment in your eyes
It's my fault, my body is a war zone, but I wanna fight
I hope you see why I feel this way, and understand my demise
One more thing before this letter ends, I apologize