The Cast of Bodied
Megaton vs Adam
[Round 1: Megaton]
My opponent quit like a coward, so I guess I gotta start killin' his squad
Starting with this bitch over here looking like Biggie Minaj
Ho, you look like Rah Digga... (Bitch, I will body your ass!)
If she was crossed with Godzilla!
A white dude, an Asian, a black girl, and a Mexican
Who the fuck y'all supposed to be, the United Colors of Benetton?
Man, it's like the rap version of the Village People
Anyone of you motherfucks, little punk-ass chumps
I'll battle any one of y'all at once. Tell Behn what's up!
What's up, Mag? What's up, Bluntz? I'll fuck both of you up!
Y'all ain't nothing but chumps, every single one of you fucks
I thought Adam, you was a freestyler, right? Well, show me what's up!
C'mon, bitch! Show me what's up, you little fuckin' worm!
Let's get it, you geeky-ass dweeb! You little dick-suckin' McLovin!
Come show me some of those freestyles, fuckboy!
Man, I ain't the fuckin' kid to step to
You see this? It's that look you have on your face when you've been crying all day because your bitch just left you!
Maybe it's 'cause she found your Boy George tapes and realized you go both ways
Or maybe it's 'cause no one wants to procreate with your Macaulay Culkin traits
And have a kid born one day with the same pointy nose and oval-shaped
Topher Grace-slash-Norman Bates-looking bony face!
They got me all the way out here in the Golden State
Battling with the same little white bitch that 2Pac and Kobe raped!
Before this cracker learned about the Black Panthers through his dad's lectures
Oh, he wanted to be a Klan member
But he found out he can't enter 'cause they didn't accept people that are transgender
For setting this up, fuck you, too, I don't trust you, either
You should know the only reason he wants to be here is cause he got jungle fever
Looking like Justin Bieber in a fucking muscle T-shirt
You're a fuckin' fan of Hanson, Marilyn Manson's grandson
This is a bodybag that you ain't coming back from
"Straight up!"
[Round 1: Adam]
Shut the fuck up!
You think you're a supervillain? I'm about to tear your mask off
'Cause now you're talkin' to the devil like Ivan Karamazov
You think 'cause you're a terrorist martyr Arabic scholar preparing for Allah that you can't be served?
You're not a suicide bomber just 'cause you got the eyebrows of an Angry Bird!
So I'll go grab Che and let him bust at you 'til the chopper jams
On your falafel stand from his taco van
You're dating a porn star! We all know what her vagina's touched!
Most terrorists get 72 virgins, you got a bitch who's fucked 72 guys at once!
"Do you think this shit's real?"
You call me a faggot and half of these guys collapse from laughter
Well, battle rap is so fucking corny... I'm a battle rapper!
Here's an example
You caught Che with your girl and didn't throw a fist at the dude
But you punched someone for getting in your face, but if someone's getting in your bitch, then it's cool?
These battlers are all soft, they just pull the tough guy shit for the views
Well, I'm all up in your face now, so WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS BITCH GONNA DO?!
[Megaton punches Adam]
That little love tap? That was real touchin'
But I just murdered my own friend, so you should know that I DON'T FEEL NOTHIN'!
You tap chins when you know you can't win, you thought you could leave me on the ground?
I mighta lost a tooth, but... fuck it, I JUST BEAT YOU FOR THE CROWN!