[Verse 1]
When I'm born
Oh it will be the start of something grand
When I'm born
I'll grab my mother's finger with my tiny hand
I've been waiting in the dark for such a long time now
My parents gave up smoking just for me
Oh, I know I'll make it in the big wide world somehow
But for the moment something's bothering me

[Chorus]
I haven't got any legs
I haven't got any legs
I think it's just down there they're supposed to grow
I haven't got any legs
I haven't got any legs
I have a very long long way to go

[Verse 2]
I could be a great inventor
I could go so far
I could be a lab technician
Or a movie star
But I make myself so miserable when I look down
Still nothing growing where my legs belong
I've tried giving them more room, tried hanging upside down
I hope it's nothing I've been doing wrong
[Chorus]
I haven't got any legs
Still haven't got any legs
Gestation's very difficult and slow
I haven't got any legs
Still haven't got any legs
I have a very long long way to go

[Bridge]
I'm feeling so excited now
I'm very nearly due
I'm coming any moment now
Today's my big debut
No! Why are you looking at me like that?

[Chorus]
I haven't got any legs
I've been born without any legs
Oh, don't cry mother, please try to be strong
I haven't got any legs
I'll never have any legs
I was right to be suspicious all along

[Outro]
Nooo!