[Verse 1]
I'm surfing with Patricia Routledge
Upon the waves of blue
I'm surfing with Patricia Routledge
Just like I've always wanted to do!

[Chorus]
Just me and Patricia!
There's nowhere cooler to be
I'm in love when Patricia's surfing with me

[Verse 2]
Miss Routledge isn't a surfer
She can't keep up with me
I'm riding all the waves and
She keeps on falling into the sea

[Chorus]
Keep trying, Patricia!
You're doing marvellously
I'm in love when Patricia's surfing with me

[Verse 3]
She doesn't look too happy
She wants to be elsewhere
I know it's cold and I know it's raining
But I won that competition fair and square!
[Bridge]
So I'm surfing with Patricia Routledge
Riding my cares away
And I'll be surfing with Patricia Routledge
Until at least the end of the day!

[Chorus]
Stop crying, Patricia!
I don't want people to see
I'm in love when Patricia's surfing with me
When Patricia's surfing with me
When Patricia's surfing with me!