Little Japanese baby
What have you done to me
My life will be so complicated
Now you have come to be

My wife went not so long ago
On a business trip to Tokyo
And came back with a nervous looking smile
By the time she said we'd have a kid
I completely forgot about what she did
And thought I was your daddy for a while

Little Japanese baby
You look nothing like me
My friends are going to point and laugh
Now you have come to be

You probably should be really glad
That you never met your real dad
'Cos I bet he was an evil nasty man
Now don't be too demanding please
'Cos I'm afraid I don't speak Japanese
But I'll bring you up as English as I can

Little Japanese baby
Little Japanese baby
Little Japanese baby