NOEL:
I don't want to sing about that!

OCEAN:
Oh! Oh! If he doesn’t want to sing, I will! I will!

NOEL:
Goddammit! Can you keep it in your pants for two seconds, you horrible succubus!?

(During this, NOEL removes his clothing to reveal lingerie
And puts on a wig NOEL transforms into a Louise Brooks
Femme fatale, wearing a fishnet stockings and high heels.)

NOEL:
In my life, I was Noel Gruber who worked at Taco Bell in Uranium City, Saskatchewan. But in my dreams I played a different role. I was Monique Gibeau in post-war France!

A HOOKER WITH A HEART OF BLACK CHARCOAL
I WRITE POEMS TO BURN BY FIRELIGHT
DRINK CHAMPAGNE AND GUZZLE GIN
GOOD GIRLS CALL ME "THE TOWN BICYCLE"
DON'T KNOCK IT 'TIL YOU’VE TRIED MY LIFE OF SIN

OH, CLAUDE, MY PIMP, KNOWS NEVER MESS WITH ME
LAST PRICK DID THAT FADED QUICK TO BLACK
I HAVE NO IDEA WHERE TO FIND HIM, OFFICERS
BUT IF YOU DO, PLEASE MENTION THAT I'D
LIKE TO HAVE RETURNED THE PRETTY KNIFE
THAT I STUCK TEN TIMES IN HIS BACK!
[Sips, swallows.]
FOR I SING SONGS UNTIL THE BREAK OF DAWN
I EMBRACE A NEW MAN EVERY NIGHT
MY LIFE'S ONE NEVER-ENDING CARNIVAL

NOEL AND CHOIR:
A WHIRL OF BOOZY-FLOOZY FLASHING LIGHT

NOEL:
I WANT TO BE THAT FUCKED UP GIRL

[Instrumental]

NOEL:
HE SAID, "I THINK I AM IN LOVE WITH YOU"
I'VE HEARD THAT LIE A MILLION TIMES BEFORE
OH, TONIGHT I GIVE IN TO THE FANTASY
TAKE LOVE WHEN YOU CAN, WHEN YOU'RE A WHORE

FOR I SING SONGS UNTIL THE BREAK OF DAWN
I EMBRACE A NEW MAN EVERY NIGHT
MY LIFE'S ONE NEVER-ENDING CARNIVAL
A WHIRL OF BOOZY-FLOOZY FLASHING LIGHT
I WANT TO BE THAT FUCKED UP GIRL

SO NOW I SELL MY LOVE FOR OPIUM
IN SOME RAT-INFESTED CHINESE DIVE
AT NIGHT I BURN MYSELF WITH CIGARETTES
JUST TO SOMEHOW PROVE I'M STILL ALIVE
EIGHT MONTHS LATER I CATCH TYPHOID FLU
KICKED OUT, I SEE THE UGLY LIGHT OF DAY
DYING IN AN ALLEY, A PRIEST KNEELS DOWN TO ME-

RICKY (as priest, in French accent):
"My child, do you have any final words to the Lord you'd like to say?"

NOEL (as Monique, in French accent):
"Oui. Tell Him that, like Him, I choose to burn out rather than fade away!"

FOR I SING SONGS UNTIL THE BREAK OF DAWN
I EMBRACE A NEW MAN EVERY NIGHT
MY LIFE’S ONE NEVER-ENDING CARNIVAL
A WHIRL OF BOOZY-FLOOZY FLASHING LIGHT
FOR I SING SONGS UNTIL THE BREAK OF DAWN
I EMBRACE A NEW MAN EVERY NIGHT
MY LIFE’S ONE NEVER ENDING CARNIVAL

NOEL AND CHOIR:
A WHIRL OF BOOZY-FLOOZY FLASHING LIGHT

NOEL:
I WANT TO BE THAT FUCKED UP GIRL
I WANNA BE THAT FUCKED UP

(ad-libbing, riffing)
GIRL...
OCEAN/CONSTANCE:
BROKEN HEART, A FLASK OF GIN
TATTOOED WITH A SAFETY PIN
TEETH ALL STAINED WITH NICOTINE
RUNNING NYLONS, SHATTERED DREAMS
SUPER CRUSTY, HOLY TERROR
WILD EYES AND BLACK MASCARA
BROKEN HEART, A FLASK OF GIN
TATTOOED WITH A SAFETY PIN
TEETH ALL STAINED WITH NICOTINE
RUNNING NYLONS, SHATTERED DREAMS
SUPER CRUSTY, HOLY TERROR
WILD EYES AND BLACK MASCARA

NOEL:
IF I COULD HAVE JUST ONE DREAM...

OCEAN/CONSTANCE:
IF HE COULD HAVE JUST ONE DREAM..!

NOEL/OCEAN/CONSTANCE:
I'D BE THAT FUCKED UP GIRL!

MISCHA/RICKY:
Hey!