[Instrumental. Children play and shout in the background.]

JACOB RICHMOND:
I NEVER WENT OUT SWIMMING DIRECTLY AFTER LUNCH
I DIDN'T SMOKE. NO, I'D NEVER TEXT AND DRIVE
I ALWAYS WORE MY SEAT BELT, A ​LIFE VEST, OR SUNSCREEN
I HAD PLANS TO STICK AROUND AND STAY ALIVE

BUTTON UP MY JACKET WHEN THE COLD WIND BLEW
I'D BRUSH MY TEETH AT LEAST TWO TIMES A DAY
I NEVER SAT TOO CLOSE TO THE TELEVISION
TO MY PARENTS, I WOULD LISTEN AND OBEY

CHOIR:
BE SAFE, THEY SAID
BE GOOD

BROOKE MAXWELL:
BUT THINGS DON'T HAPPEN QUITE THE WAY THEY SHOULD

CHOIR:
OH, MAMA...

BROOKE MAXWELL:
YOU KNOW I'VE TRIED MY BEST TO TOE THE LINE
'CAUSE I THOUGHT AT FIRST
THAT THIS UNIVERSE
HAD A REASON OR A RHYME
YOU CAN DOT YOUR T'S AND CROSS YOUR I'S
BUT STEADY YOURSELF FOR THE BIG SURPRISE
'CAUSE SOONER OR LATER YOU REALIZE

ALL:
IT'S NOT FAIR! NOT FAIR...

BROOKE MAXWELL:
BOILED DOWN AND SIMPLIFIED
ALL THAT YOU CAN REALLY DO
IS BUCKLE IN
AND HANG ON FOR THE RIDE