[Verse 1]
All alone in my bedroom
With the lights turned down and my roommate gone
I know it's over, still, I cling on
'Cause I'm my own right-hand girl
And I don't need anyone
But sometimes, I miss your stupid face
And your taste, and your smoking gun

[Chorus]
It's so depressing how the tear ducts in my eyes
They're so much wetter than the space between my thighs
Oh-oh-oh, I can't help if thinkin' about it only makes me cry
It keeps me wet, you know you keep me wet
'Til I run dry

[Verse 2]
It's nights like this that remind me of my deepest fantasy
Where I'm all alone and I feel the cold, dark earth caressing me
'Cause I'm six feet under nearly and I don't have anyone
But this wouldn't be the first or last time that
Both my tears and I have come

[Chorus]
It's so depressing how the tear ducts in my eyes
They're so much wetter than the space between my thighs
Oh-oh-oh, I can't help if thinkin' about it only makes me cry
It keeps me wet, you know you keep me wet
'Til I run dry
Oh, oh-oh-oh-oh
[Bridge]
My blood runs cold, my thoughts are plasmic
From not letting go
And letting go could be orgasmic
But I guess I wouldn't know, ooh

[*Assorted carnal exclamations of thirst for Austin Corona*]

[Chorus]
It's so depressing how the tear ducts in my eyes
They're so much wetter than the space between my thighs
Oh-oh, I can't help if thinkin' about it only makes me cry
It keeps me wet, you know you keep me wet
'Til I run dry
Oh, oh-oh-oh-oh