Off Book Cast
Things Little Kids Shouldn't Do (BONUS - Patter Song)
Excuse me little child
Are you tasting a flight of beer?
Please leave this right now
Of this bar you must clear

Excuse me tiny child
This isn't very hard
Please stop browsing in this warehouse
Of foreign imported cars

Pardon little child
Are you sure you aren't lost?
You should not be in this prison
Salad are being tossed

Pardon me little child
Did you submit to this florist competition
How did you pay
For the fee of admission?

Excuse me little child
And I see you over there
But why you're there is confusing to me
Because we are in a hospital
And you're performing appendectomies

Pardon me little child
Did you just put out a fire that went through the tower?
You should please leave right now
You shouldn't be yielding that flower shower

Excuse me little child over there
What are you doing? It's risky
To be in the bar in the middle of the night
With a big old flight of whiskey

Pardon me little child
Did you put that needle in your vein?
You put that needle in your vein
Well that is simply insane

Oh little child
You are too small
I just wanna give you a really big hug
But you're out on the street
In New York City
Selling your body for drugs

Pardon me little child
Are you flying across the U.S.A. by yourself
That seems like a weird thing to do
But also dealing top liquor shelf

You're too young to be flying on a plane!