Off Book Cast
Günter and Dieter
[GÜNTHER]
Dieter, he has a plan
A plan he puts into practice now
The end of the day
Dieter will be
The one
Who sells Shamwow

[DIETER]
No
You are Günter
And I am Dieter
And I want you to sell the cloth

[GÜNTHER]
Yes

[DIETER]
You are Günter
And I am Dieter
I already have a job

[GÜNTHER]
No, but father
Don’t you see
That you’ve trained me
You’ve trained me to sell
So many things
But I think you should be the one
To sell the Shamwow
And so much profit will you bring

[DIETER (GÜNTHER)]
You’re right
I’m always going to be better than you (that’s right)
This is the new plan and it's what we shall do (mmhmm)
I am the one
Now get out of my way
It shall be Dieter

[GÜNTHER]
But Dieter don’t you see?
I just sold you the idea
That you should sell Shamwow

[DIETER]
My goodness!

[GÜNTHER]
And so the job
of selling the Shamwow
I’m going to take that job back now
Günter will sell it!

[DIETER]
This is what I wanted
Und yet it hurts my heart

[GÜNTHER]
Und yet!

[DIETER]
You have trained so well
But now
You’ve taken my part

[GÜNTHER (DIETER)]
And everyone
When they’re sitting in the mall
Will give themselves such a fever
For when they buy a Shamwow
From Günter
Not Dieter (Not Dieter)
Hey!